To E3, or not?

My story is the same as most gamers’, maybe even yours:

I’ve been playing games as long as I remember. My earliest memory is literally playing some SNES game when I was 3 (no idea what the game was). When Peter Jackson talks about King Kong, or Prince talks about Jimmy Hendrix, I hear the kind of sentiment I feel towards A Link to the Past. I love games.

That love for games carried me through elementary school, high school, college, and the founding of my own gaming site. I’m looking forward to the release of the next console generation the same way I anticipated the Xbox 360, the PS2, and the N64. My life is not only fulfilled by video games, it is practically defined by games.

And just like games have defined my life, game journalism has defined my life. Nintendo Power, EGM, GameSpot, Giant Bomb hold as much reverence as games for me…possibly more so, if we’re being honest. But it was the discovery of Extra Credits that galvanized my passion for games in a way I never understood before. The weekly, minimalist cartoon produced by Daniel Floyd, Allison Theus, and James Portnow was the first time I’d ever seen someone address the intellectual concerns within the industry. One year later I made my own website to try and explore those themes myself.

And 7 months after making Arcademia I was at PAX with a press badge around my neck, interviewing James Portnow. After we stopped recording we talked briefly about what I hoped Arcademia could be, and he was enthusiastic; more than that, he was thrilled. I don’t mean to be weird, but hearing his praise is one of the best things I’ve ever experienced. Making websites is difficult, and his positivity validated (and continues to validate) my work in a way nothing else really could.

4 months after PAX and those interviews are finally ready to be uploaded. People are beginning to see those interviews and are consequently beginning to check out the site and subscribe to the channel. I’ve got tons of interviews I still need to edit and upload, and several weeks worth of articles that are scheduled to go live over the next several weeks. It really feels like anything could happen in 2012. Maybe I’ll even be able to attend E3 for the first time.

Then I saw today’s episode of Extra Credits.

This is a real dilemma for me: attending E3 represents “the big leagues,” and has been a dream of mine for…I’m not even sure how long. Applying for press passes last year was a dream come true for me, and even though we were rejected it came with the suggestion that we try again in 2012, and that we’d have a much better chance.

I believe them! I have high hopes that we might be accepted as press this year, which would mean I would finally be there and, while I probably wouldn’t be invited to the press conferences, I’d be on the show floor that I’ve seen in hundreds and hundreds of videos for over a decade. I would see the WiiU in person, and who knows what else?

But…they’re right. I don’t like that the ESA is one of the few organizations supporting SOPA, and obviously the best way to show my dissatisfaction is by encouraging my favorite journalists not to attend. I don’t think Arcademia will be missed if I refuse to attend…but it would be completely hypocritical to encourage Giant Bomb to stay home and then attend myself just because it’s my “dream.” If I’m going to be completely two-faced, even on such a small matter, I should really just quit immediately. The industry doesn’t need more journalists like that.

I’m not really sure what I’m going to do. It’s a bit presumptuous of me to take a stance of any kind considering how small Arcademia is, and E3 is months away so it would hardly mean anything. At the end of the day though I am, as stupid as this sounds, a disciple of Extra Credits and I completely agree with their stance on this. E3 is a personal milestone but it’s not going anywhere, and it’s not like there aren’t other amazing events I’ll get to go to.

I dunno. I’m still not decided. I just watched that episode right now and wanted to immediately get my thoughts on paper.